The Step Taken By: S. C. Hall

"One step, that is all it would take and everything could change," I whispered softly to myself as I peered down at the ground below.  A crowd had gathered to see what was going on.  All those people just stood there and watched.  But,yet again, that is all they ever did was watch.
Watch as the seams of my very own sanity were torn open.  Did they not see the redness of my tear soaked eyes? Or the fact that I kept the rest of humanity at a distance?  No, they did not see because they did not wish to see. For if they saw what was truly in front of them. they would be utterly at a loss for words.
When they asked how I was doing I would reply with 'I am fine.'  Yet it would sound as though a programmed response.  So they would then move on with their business as I was left feeling alone.  Why did no one care?  Did acknowledging my brokenness mean that they would have to admit their own?
I close my eyes as I hear the footsteps behind me. "Sir, how about you take a step back and we can talk about what is troubling you," says a soothing voice.  Turning around I see a man in a perfectly tailored suit.  The kind that those who call themselves professionals wear.
Raising my voice I reply.  "Why the hell do you care?  Do you know me?"  That second question was of course easy to answer since I had never seen this man before in my life.  But I have met his kind before.
The so called experts who charged you $100 an hour to lay on a couch and spill your guts to them.  Always seeming to have the right answers.  But all they ever did was give some textbook advice and wish you luck.  To end these sessions with 'see you next week.' Every time it was the same issues, same advice, and 'good luck.'  Yet it would never help.  I would just feel more alone and hopeless.
Then there was the pills.  Always getting stronger and doing less to solve the problem.  "Theses will help you not feel so bad" is what they told me as a boy.  But they were not fully right in the outcome.  Oh sure they helped me not feel depressed, or any other emotion for that matter.  I had become a husk.  A zombie wondering among the living.
"No more! I will not be a zombie again! I will not take your stupid pills!" I was tearing up as I yelled at the Suit.
The Suit didn't retaliate. With a sympathetic tone he said. "I see you are married.  Does your wife know bad you are hurting/"
Swallowing hard I looked down at my left hand.  A sad smile coming to my lips as I saw the ring.  Tears fell freely from my eyes as the memory of that day came into my consciousness.  There she was, so beautiful in her white dress.  Smiling up at me as she slid the ring on my finger.  Vows were spoken to love each other until our final breaths.  Then the kiss.  Oh that sealing kiss that spoke more to my soul than any word spoken.  How could I tell the woman I love that she loved a broken man?
"I can tell that you love your wife deeply," said the Suit, breaking me out of my trance.  "How about children?  Do you have any kids?"
There was no need for words as I buried my face in my hands.  In my mind I saw those bright blue eyes of my son open for the first time.  Just holding him as he looked up at me I had thought that my heart was going to explode with pride and love. My son. My baby boy.  No matter the pain I felt now, it would be nothing compared to the pain of leaving him.
I didn't see it but the Suit was close enough now and he placed his hand on my shoulder.  "I can tell you are hurting.  But this will not stop the pain.  It will just pass it onto those you love.  One step, that is all it will take and everything can change."
No I could not bear that pain being felt by them.  So, lifting my foot I slowly take that step...
Landing in the mans arms I let go the flood that I had held back.  Through the sobs I was able to choke out two desperate words. "Help Me."